So it finally happened--I'm a teacher again! After months of filling out paperwork, getting my fingerprints processed through the FBI, and countless calls to the state education department in Bismarck (not to mention several frantic calls to Amy), I received my North Dakota state certification, complete with a gold emblem and all.
In my mind's eye, the cover letter for my certification packet would read something like this:
Dear Miss Robertson,
Y'betcha you're qualified for teaching in the state of North Dakota! We are extremely excited to enclose your North Dakota teaching license, and we know that our students will benefit from your skilled teaching. What is more, you sound like a cute, fun girl.
Come visit us in Bismarck any time,
The Education Board
In the end, the letter I received proved a little less personalized and folksy--although I like to think it is just as glowing an account of my teaching, looks, and personality if read between the lines. Unfortunately, though, instead of cordially inviting me to tour their state capital, the Board has cordially invited me to register in classes in American Indian Studies and Space Science. Ladies and gentlemen, there's a Space Race afoot, and, alongside testing their reading fluency, I need to examine my kindergarteners for the potential of The Right Stuff. I could have the next Chuck Yeager or John Glenn or Sally Ride on my roster, after all.
None of this really matters, though, because I'm now in the Grand Forks Public Schools substitute teacher pool and have a snazzy clip-on teacher ID to prove it:
Here I am doing my best impression of Lulu from To Sir with Love. I suppose more modern media figures like Rihanna also sport the single earring look, but why go for the less obscure celebrity reference when I can instead compare myself to a 1960s British pop star?
Here's hoping that some day one of my students will compose and perform a song in my honor.