Sunday, October 10, 2010

Driving and How to Spice up Your Life with Clam Juice

If you know me (and I'm just going to go ahead and be honest about the current readership of my blog--you know me), you probably also know that my driving is a hybrid of that of a gum-chewing teenager and a squinting, hunched-forward old woman.  It doesn't help that I look just a few months shy of my eighteenth birthday and that I drive a 1996 Buick LeSabre--no doubt a "friendly and cheerful" car, as my uncle puts it, but also definitely a grandpa car:

(That's not a picture of my actual car because either my car isn't very photogenic or I'm not a very good photographer.  I choose to believe the former.)

Luckily, the good people of North Dakota have put in place a system designed just for such a driver.  I've faced a few tough decisions, most definitely.  Last night, for instance, I had to call upon my tractor protocol knowledge to decide whether or not I should go around a tractor on a gravel road.  (I actually discovered that I possess no tractor protocol knowledge, so if you know the answer to this, let me know).

In general, though, North Dakota driving does not even rate on the same driving stress scale that Chicago is on.  Within the city proper, the farthest to possibly travel seems to be about 2 1/2 miles, and the parking spots are so wide that I have the option of parking either straight or at an angle (I generally waver between the two and park as though perhaps I chose to go Irish with my coffee that morning).  What is more, the fastest posted speed limit is 45 miles per hour, and on any given street I can drive 25 miles per hour without one person sending dirty looks, honking, or swerving around me.  One time the person in front of me decided to drive 17 miles per hour on a major roadway, and everyone just rolled with it.  My mother and I encountered one aggressive driver--and quickly noticed that his license plate read "Da Bears."

Speaking of which, if you're looking for a new Sunday Night Football drink tonight, might I suggest the eternal favorite: Clamato and Miller Lite?  You can buy it either as a six-pack or mix your own.  Nothing says "Go team!" like clam juice, tomato, and lite beer.


  1. um, i need a picture of clamato. like, stat.

  2. Funny thing. Driving in Korea is like a weird mix of Chicago and North Dakota--lots of tractors, but also lots of angry people. Which means tractor protocol is to honk and swerve as much as possible, even if you actually, physically cannot pass said tractor.

  3. When we had to wait for the cow that decided to plant itself in front of our car, a guy came out and slapped it on the rear. Surprisingly, the cow moved out of our way. Perhaps you should slap the tractor on the rear? For all we know slapping the rear of random road obstructions might be some sort of rural passing signal. I wonder if this applies to the tractor or the person driving said tractor...better try both.

  4. Thanks for the tips guys! This time I just decided to drive slowly behind him, which I think creeped him out. I'll see if slapping him on the rear decreases the creep factor next time.

  5. wow such great advice from those 2 up there!

    my stomach turned while reading about clamato and miller lite, erin please tell me you don't chug that down

  6. Karina--so far I've avoided the temptations of clamato and miller lite and what can only be described as a red wine spritzer. We'll see how long I make it.